Marriages fail because people aren’t F.R.I.E.N.D.S

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One of the most saddening statistics are the fact that half the marriages won’t survive. I hope daily people will make a decision to never quit on their marriage no matter how hard it gets. We must be willing to fight. Relationships are not easy. One big issue for many marriages is people never really become friends. They see the person as attractive but never really become friends with their mate. One day things will go south, literally, and we must be friends first if we want our marriage to thrive not just survive. Hopefully the FRIENDS acronym will be helpful for you. This list is adapted from Mark Driscoll’s book Real Marriage.

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Fruitful
Prov 20:18 – Plans succeed through good counsel; don’t go to war without wise advice.
Prov 24:5-6 – The wise are mightier than the strong, and those with knowledge grow stronger and stronger. So don’t go to war without wise guidance; victory depends on having many advisers.
Prov 13:20 – Wise words will win you a good meal, but treacherous people have an appetite for violence.

Reciprocal 
1 Cor 13:4-7 – Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Intimate
Song of Songs 5:16 – His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend.

Enjoyable
Ecc 9:7-9 – 7 So go ahead. Eat your food with joy, and drink your wine with a happy heart, for God approves of this! 8 Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne!

Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.

Needed
Gen 1:26-27 – 26 Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.”
27 So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

Devoted
Phil 2:3-4 – Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
Rom 12:15 – Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.
Prov 18:24 – There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.

Sanctifying
Ecc 4:9-10 – Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
Prov 27:9 – The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

Questions:

How have you saught to be friends?

How could you be a better friend to others?

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I am a pastor, church planter, leader, and father. I have been blessed to be the founding pastor of Courageous Church. I spend much of my time seeking to help others take their next step in growth and leadership. I am the main visionary architect and communicator for Courageous. I love spending time with my family and because of them I am blessed beyond imagination. I believe I have the best l life possible.

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